


It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Catches a Blastoise

by Torankusu



Category: Gintama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8017927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torankusu/pseuds/Torankusu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pokémon GO is released in Edo and all hell breaks loose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Catches a Blastoise

 

It all began on a misty Tuesday morning as the first rays of daylight began to slowly peek over the horizon. Hijikata sat outside of his bedroom door, overlooking the courtyard as he finished his first cigarette of the day. It was a quiet summer morning and though he'd have to wake up the rest of his men soon, he wanted to enjoy this peace and quiet for just a few seconds longer. It wasn't often he got tranquil moments like this, able to sit back, relax, and enjoy a sunrise from his porch. Hell, it wasn't often he allowed himself to relax at all. He let out a long sigh of an exhale, and the last of his smoke curled up and around him.

"Well," he thought to himself, as he stubbed out his cigarette, "time to get to work."

He stood up with a stretch and brushed himself off, but just as he was about to go back into his room to get ready for the day, he heard an unusual noise. His previous relaxed mood vanished in an instant as his ears perked and he went on high alert. At first, he suspected it was just Sougo trying to kill him again, but as he readied himself to dodge a projectile, he realized Sougo never usually revealed himself until after his attempted murder. Grumbling about sadists, he pulled out and lit another cigarette.

He strained his ears to decipher the strange sound but couldn't quite make it out; he was left with no choice but to investigate. Unsheathing his sword, he made his way towards the direction of the noise. As he rounded a corner near the entrance of the barracks, the sound became more clear, and he could now identify it as some sort of melody.

"The hell?" he thought, "Is that video game music? Are the guys playing the OWee without me?? Don't they know how much I love Bintendo?!"

Annoyed, he sheathed his sword and began his reprimanding, "Oi! Bastards! You better not be playing Mario-" he cut himself off with a (manly) yelp, when out of the corner of his eye he saw a glowing figure emerge from behind a tree.

Cue the nervous sweat drops and paling twenty shades lighter, Hijikatas cigarette fell from his lips as he stumbled backwards and gracefully tripped over his own feet into some bushes. As he sat there tangled awkwardly in the shrub, he tried his best to take deep calming breaths, all the while a multitude of obscenities flew through his mind.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAAAAT?!" he screamed internally, "THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT THING'S A G-GHOST, RIGHT? RIIIIGHT?!"

Steeling himself as much as he could, he bravely peaked out from the bushes that he was most definitely _not hiding_ in. From this angle he could see that only the figures face was illuminated in the darkness- by a blue light from a device in its hand. The glowing figure was walking around aimlessly like a zombie or.. some kind of lost spirit.

With a small, terrified cry, Hijikata retreated back into the safety of his bush. As he sat there hyperventilating and ready to accept death, a rustling sound to his left broke him out of his petrified state. He turned in the direction of the sound and came face to face with yet another glowing figure.

"Hey. Have you run into the Farfetch'd that's nearby? The only thing around me are Pidgey's." said the glowing face, not looking up from the device in its hand- a phone, Hijikata noted.

Realization struck, and with an angry tick appearing on his cheek Hijikata let out an enraged roar as he unsheathed his sword and exploded out of the bushes.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE?! AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TRESPASSING ON SHINSENGUMI PROPERTYYY?!"

As Hijikata waved his sword around in the air and continued his yelling, he noticed several other glowing faces popping up from bushes or from behind trees. Some of them even had the audacity to shush him.

"Dude. Not cool. It's almost 6 in the morning. People are trying to sleep." said one of them, with an admonishing look. "So rude.", "The disrespect.", "What a douche." murmured others, while shaking their heads.

He was going to arrest them all.

"Hijikata-san, Hijkata-san," drawled a familiar voice "There's a Rattata on your head." Sougo wore a smug look as he pointed at Hijikata with one hand, and pointed a phone in his direction with the other.

"SOUGOOOO!! I should have known you were behind this! Get your weird friends out of here!"

"Eh? I didn't do anything. I'm just missing every time I try to catch this Rattata, so my pokéballs keep hitting you in the face."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! You think you can hit me?! You wanna fight, huh?!"

"Oh, I finally caught it. Damn."

"WHAT'S WITH THAT DISAPPOINTED LOOK?! ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!"

With a suffering sigh Sougo began to explain. "It's a game Hijikata-san. See?" he pushed his phone into Hijikata's face "Look at this picture I took of my new Rattata on your stupid face. It looks so at home, like it belongs there." Hijikata went to smack the phone out of his hand, but Sougo lazily dodged.

"I don't care what it is. Get these freaks out of here or I'm arresting all of them!"

Sougo looked at him blankly. "Hijikata-san, I don't know these people. They came here for the pokéstop. Or for the gym."

"Gym? What gym?! Quit talking nonsense! I don't care if you know them or not, get rid of them! This 'game'," he used air quotes "ends now!" Hijikata huffed and reached for his cigarettes. He began to relax a bit as he lit one up.

"HEY EVERYONE!" an excited voice shouted, "THERE'S A BLASTOISE ACROSS THE STREET!"

The unruly bunch of people that had scattered themselves around the barracks all perked up at once- popping out of bushes and even falling out of trees- and then proceeded to stampede out, all the while shouting things Hijikata didn't understand. Things like "I hope it has hydropump!" and "But I just want a Wartortle!". 

Sougo followed the mob while yelling out random directions to the location of this "Blastoise" thing, probably to confuse everyone for his own benefit. With an angry twitch in his eye, Hijikata sighed out an annoyed puff of smoke. As the excited voices faded away into the distance, his only thought was, "Thank Mayo that's over."

Little did he know it was only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh i was planning on posting this as a giant one-shot when i was finished with it, but this has been sitting in my documents since july and i haven't added anything to it so i figured if i posted it as a chapter fic it might motivate me to actually write it orz  
> i've got an actual plot all planned out but im painfully lazy and also super busy procrastinating doing my hw, so -shrug emoji- 
> 
> also why do people play pogo with the sound on, dont they know it drains the battery smh


End file.
